8/5/15

All this time I have been stressing and agonizing over WHO I should see for counseling. Saying I'm picky is an understatement. I can have a hard time opening up to people. I've worried that I will waste my time by trying to trust and open up to someone new just to have things end like they did with Aaron.

I had previously been debating over who to see, Lydia vs. Carol. I called Lydia's office almost a week ago and never heard back from her. After 4 days I bit the bullet and talked to me bishop and told him I wanted to switch from Joy to LDS Family Services. I called and requested Carol. The next day they called to let me know who I would be seeing and informed me that I can't see Carol since we are in the same ward. Hey, it was worth a shot right?

I called Lydia's office again and left a message, hoping that if she called me back I can make an appointment with her and not follow through with LDSFS. No such luck.

As I was telling Brad how I was freaking out about going through LDSFS again he reminded me, "So, how did you meet James?" Me, "Through LDSFS..." Brad, "Exactly! Who knows maybe she will be the best counselor you've ever had!" Maybe she will.

I'm sitting here so worried that it will be another Aaron situation and I'm ignoring the fact that I've had more positive then negative experiences with LDSFS. I met both Joy and James thought LDSFS. I didn't know or trust either of them before I met them for counseling the first time. That's 2 positive to my 1 negative. Brad asked me, "What is the worst thing that can happen?" Me, "I can HATE her!" Brad, "So.... You can also switch to someone else!" I know, I know.