1 month ago our foster daughter's birth mom, Jen, decided to relinquish her parental rights and place her daughter for adoption so Brad and I can adopt her! It has been so exciting and hard at the same time.
When Jen decided to relinquish I wanted 2 things- a picture of my daughter, Em, with Jen and I had a list of questions I wanted answered for Em's info. 1 month ago Jen said she wanted a final visit and obviously I really wanted one too. Jen put off court for a few weeks, but finally relinquished on a few weeks ago. At court all she wanted was a final visit, I was excited to get all the things I wanted from her for Em. We set up the visit for the next day and she didn't show up, which is common for her. Our caseworker said she was only going to give her a few chances at this. It was over a week before Jen contacted the office and requested another final visit.
I was once again excited to get the picture and have her answer my questions. I was nervous that she wouldn't show. Brad, Em and I got over there and waited. The caseworker had talked to her hours earlier and she said she was going to be there. Well, guess what? She didn't show! Our caseworker is awesome and she said she was done trying unless we were willing to keep coming in and trying, of course I am. I should emphasize how very important this final visit has been for me. I had to fight back the tears in our caseworkers office. Once we got home Brad and I talked about it and the fact that it might never happen and I cried. It is really breaking my heart for my daughter that her own birth mom is doing this. I'm leaving out a lot of details, but it's besides the point.
Our caseworker came over today for her monthly home visit. I should add that one day as the caseworker and I were talking I really opened up to her and she knows a lot about my past and what I've been though. I think the only thing she doesn't know is about Jack. So we started talking about how the final visit is probably never going to happen and I started crying again. I explained to our caseworker how I am feeling about all this. It just brings up all the stuff with my biological father. I have pictures of him, but none of him and I in the same picture. (which I would LOVE) I know nothing about him. I mean sure the guy is a jerk, but still I want to know. Now my daughter is going to be raised feeling the same hurt I feel about my biological father! I just can't stop crying about it because it makes me so mad that Jen is doing this. She is being selfish and the idea of my daughter feeling this pain is breaking my heart.
Our caseworker said she might be able to get us Jen's mug shoot. I told her I'll take it. I will take ANYTHING to be able to show my daughter what her birth mom looks like! I can't write more tonight, I'm tired of crying.
*Update- Several weeks later we did have our visit. I got the pictures I wanted and got the info I was hoping for too. This was the start of our open adoption.
