My letter to Colleen- in the past 13 hours I have read it out loud to James, James read it out loud, I read it out loud pretending Colleen was there and.... I just e-mailed it to her! Yes, I actually SENT it!!! I am now anxious about her response knowing it might be bad or very ugly. I feel ready..... Wow. I feel a sense of relief and also anxious.
Dear Colleen,
It's been a few months since we have talked. There is still one thing that I've been meaning to tell you and I haven't. I've put this off for so long because I don't know where to started or how to say it.
I didn't remember this happening until after my husband and I got married. Over the past few years I have thought a lot about whether or not to tell you. I'm not doing this to hurt anyone. I need to do this for me, for part of my healing. I need the truth to be out there.
I don't know if you had any idea anything was going on. I want you to know that I don't blame you for anything that happened.
While I was babysitting Jack, he sexually abused me.
At the time I don't think I even knew what was going on or how to handle it. It wasn't until after I got married that I remembered it happening. I have been going to counseling off and on for the past 5 years. I've been learning how to deal with it all, and have been working on forgiving Jack.
I know it must be a shock to you. I am in no way trying to hurt you or Jack. Telling you is just something I need to do for me.
I am somewhat open about what went on. Feel free to ask any questions you might have.
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