Today with James started out different. He always ask how I'm doing physically and emotionally, and anything that might of happened since he saw me last. Then he asked about me spiritually. As we continued to talk I realized how disconnected I am feeling spiritually. It used to be my strength and now I'm not doing much. It's even harder when you work in the Primary! It's interesting that I have "family issues" with both prayer and reading scriptures. Sigh, my family is SO crazy. Really, what kind of mother yells at their teenager for reading their scriptures!!!!! Oh and then she yelled at me because they had dust on them meaning I wasn't reading them. (FYI I had more then one set of scriptures and that was the set I didn't use) And she herself was inactive in the church! Okay, vent over moving on. My homework for the next 2 weeks I have to read my scriptures at least 3 times.
So I'm gonna back track a little. My friend, MacKenzie, and I are both in counseling, but are seeing 2 different people. Living in a small town our counselors of course know each other. Since I still haven't finished my friends letter, she explained to her counselor that I've been busy working on my own very hard letter. Her counselor asked what James does after he has me write letters, like does he have me read them out loud? Yes. Does he have me pretend to talk to the person? No. Joy did that and we did it in SOLE, but I had yet to see James do it. So thanks MacKenzie for mentioning this, cuz guess what we did? No only did I read Colleen's letter, James read the letter and then I had to pretend to read it to Colleen sitting in front of me! Thanks MacKenzie, thanks a LOT. (I still love ya though) By the time I had to read the letter to Colleen I was a lot more calm about it, the first time I just blew through it.
By the end of the session I was feeling so calm and a sense of relief. I've decided that I am 100% going to send the letter to Colleen. James asked if I was ready to confront Jack, No! He also asked if I wanted to wait to send the letter and we could talk more about the possible response of Colleen. I think I'm just gonna send it. I've gotten so many responses about it I feel ready for anything. I know she might not believe me, she might be offended, she just might accept it, but I am not expecting anything.
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