Wednesday, September 2, 2009

9/2/09

Weird Dreams:
I am addicted to the internet. I seriously can not live without it. I'm in a blogging mood and our internet has been acting up. Finally it's up again. I don't have much to say but I'm dying to blog. Last night I had 2 weird dreams, which is not odd for me. I'm known for having very weird dreams.
Dream one- long story, all of Brad's family was mad at me, sigh, I don't want to go there right now.

Dream two- Grandma found out I was seeing James again (in real life I've told her but she had zero interests in that) and she forced me to give her James's number, called him and wanted to know everything I have told him!

Hum, that sounds familiar? Right after I moved out of my parents house I lived with my aunt and uncle for a few months. My aunt made me give permission for Joy to talk to her. I remember when Joy told me about their conversation. My aunt and uncle blamed all my "problems" on depression and they didn't think I was old enough to live on my own.

Emotionally I'm feeling stuck. I'm unsure of what to do... Grandma called a few days ago, not much conversation as usual. I feel sad that I can't talk to her about Jack stuff. Now that I think about it, I can't talk to mother-in-law either. I did once, 2 years ago. All she had to say was forgive and forget, move on... No support, no one asking how counseling going. My husband tries... I guess I'm feeling alone in this struggle. But Why? It used to be my lack of opening up to people that held me back. Now it's my lack of people to open up to.

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