10/30/15

One thing that Grace asked me if I did was keep track of the depression up and downs. I have/ did when I was on Prozac and CeleXa, but haven't while on Wellbutrin. I figured it was time to jot these things down.

I came up with this for my ups and downs for while I've been on Wellbutrin, which I started in June.

My depression has always been so up and down! I remember being at rock bottom in 2001. I was able to pull myself out of it after my uncle died and make my way up to maybe 50% for a while. 2003 I was pretty close to rock bottom for almost a year. After moving out I felt fine for a long time, fine for me is probably a normal person's 50%. In 2008 I once again spend quite a while near rock bottom. I went back to feeling fine for a few years. I remember it hitting me again 2012 and being pretty off and on since then! 

Something else she had me do I was a Lifestyle Behaviors Questionnaire. It was interesting to see where I am at, where I struggle, and see what I could work on.

Negative behaviors I struggle with:

* Under eat- I almost forget this exists because it is so normal for me! After filling out the questionnaire yesterday I was really observant of my eating habits today. Breakfast- nothing. Snack- Fruit Snacks. Lunch- I eat a teeny tiny portion of food that I love and said, "I'm full." I really thought hard and realized, I'm not full, I'm simply tired of eating so I stopped. Dinner- I feel like I eat a normal amount. Just now I eat maybe 5 sweetarts. That's it. That is everything I eat today and that is a normal day! 

* Watch too much TV (more than 3-4 hours a day). If I don't watch any TV during the day, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, just at night I watch about 5 hours. I spend 95% of my day either on the computer, watching tv, or doing something on my phone, if not all three at once! 

* Withdraw from people. When the depression is bad I don't want anything to do with interacting with other people! It is even hard for me to open up to Brad.