All day yesterday I have been fighting these feelings to cut. It has been 3 weeks now. It is almost as if I want to do it just to show my parents I am hurting. Not like they will even notice. The first time I cut I made sure it was somewhere they would see. They never said anything.
I keep thinking, “Once more won’t hurt.” I just want to so badly.
When I talk to my parents it is always as if I never said anything. Sometimes all I want is attention or someone to just listen to me.
1:17 am
I cut. Too much pain to handle. My parents don’t give a crap about my well-being.
Update:
That night as I sat in my room I kept having flashbacks about my mom’s death. I kept seeing that morning, seeing her dead body over and over again. The only way I could think to get the images in my head to stop was to cut.
I went into the kitchen, got a knife and cut my arm. The flashbacks stopped.
That was the last time I ever cut!
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