Tuesday, December 2, 2003

12/2/03

I was supposed to see Joy today, but she cancelled. Then tonight I saw Sister Parker. I decided that I needed to talk to her and tell her what is going on.

I told her things have not been so good at home.
She asked how it was affecting me, not good.
Have I been reading my scriptures and praying. Kind of, not all the time.
Have I been going to church? Not for the past 2 weeks.
Then she asked if I have been doing things I shouldn’t be. I nodded, Yes.
She said, “I bet you started cutting again, didn’t you?”
She told me that it did not sound like I was winning this battle, I’m losing big time. I’m letting Satan win, I’m giving in. I was crying of course, I felt like crap, but I needed it. She made me realize that I need to get out NOW.

It is horrible not feeling the spirit, trust me.
I talked to Bishop W. He has told me so many times to get out now, but I have never listened to him. This time I am. I am moving out. I already packed some of my things.

The next day I talked to my aunt and uncle and they let me move in with them for a few months.
Later that night I told Grandma everything (cutting, counseling, and moving out)
On Dec. 6th I moved out!
On Dec. 7th I met my future husband!

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