Thursday, November 27, 2003

11/27/03

It has been 12 years since she has been gone. There is still a hole in my heart, a piece of it that was taken when she died. The hold cannot be filled by my husband, his parents or our children. That park of me is just for her and always will be. The hole will be filled the second I am with her again.

Looking back on my life with her, I can see how much I loved her. I was so little and I looked up and admired her so much. Her life revolved around my sister and I. As I have gotten to know her better through her journal, I have this increase of love for her. I love her so much.

The pain I was feeling just kept piling up. It got to the point that I couldn’t handle it. I started pleading with Heavenly Father for his to help take some of the pain away. I’ve realized the past few days that the pain has started to fade. It didn’t do away all at once, just a little at a time. I know what I am doing in my life right now is what my mom would want me to be doing. 

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