11/7/03

It is amazing how your life can change just by doing the basics. I don’t remember when I stopped doing them, but I noticed the gradual change in me.

I started really having a problem with cutting. I even cut 3 times in 1 week (the most often so far).

Saturday after I cut I decided I needed to fast that I will be able to stop.

By Sunday night I felt so good that I would be able to never cut again. Then Monday and Tuesday I was so tempted to cut.

Tuesday I began to doubt if I will be able to never cut. I wanted to talk to Joy about it, but it never came up.

I talked to Sister Parker about it. She asked me when the last time I cut was, Saturday. She asked me that once I moved out would I stop? I told her I didn’t know. “That isn’t an answer.” She told me and asked again. I told her I wasn’t sure.

She told me that it isn’t a serious sin, but it is bad. She asked if I felt the spirit at church, I told her sometimes. She asked if I pray? I try to. Do I feel like Heavenly Father hears/ answers them? Sometimes.

We talked for half an hour. When we finished I really thought about things. I realized that I was going to stop & that was that. Never again! 

Since then I have been praying every night and every morning. I have read the Book of Mormon every night & I have written in my journal every night.

Since then I have not been tempted to cut at all. No desire, no temptation, nothing! I have felt better about everything. 

I have been hurt enough in my life, why should I hurt myself?