11/14/15

I finally had my doctors appointment to talk about my depression. I say it, or at least think it, everytime I see him, but I love how thorough he is. He went through what symptoms I'm struggling with, how I've been feeling and thinking.

Question) How have you been on the Wellbutrin?
Answer) It has worked for the most part, but I have go from feeling 100% to rock bottom within seconds for no reason.

Q) What is your sleep like?
A) Once I fall asleep (sometimes I struggle) it is hard to wake up and all I want to do is asleep.

Q) What is your energy level like?
A) Really low energy

Q) Do you feel guilty about anything?
A) No

Q) Do you have any hobbies? What are they?
A) Yes, crafting

Q)You have ever thought about hurting yourself?
A) um.... yes.

Q) When was this?
A) A few months ago (about 2 1/2)

Q) Did you have an actual plan?
A) No

Q) Were you ever close to doing anything?
A) Nope

Q) Were your feelings more like- I want to go to sleep and never wake up or I want to runaway and not come back
A) Sleep, I'm just tired of one thing going wrong after another.

Somewhere in here he suggested counseling. I told him I already am.

We also talked briefly about my hysterectomy. The last time I saw him he was giving me the referral to my Ob, so he didn't know it was already over and done with! It's funny how talking about my hysterectomy always makes me smile. One of the best things I've ever done!

One funny thing that happened, at least I thought it was funny-
One thing I've noticed with Dr. P is he has always kept doctor stuff and church stuff separate. He has never mentioned anything doctor related at church or anything church related at his office. So he really caught me off guard when he asked me, "What is your calling in your ward?" It was funny how he asked that out of the blue. I told him that it was in Cub Scouts, but we are moving soon and will be in a different ward, but in the same stake.

We are now seeing how I will do on Brintellix.

I've decided to keep track of how I'm doing on Brintellix

Day 1: Took mid-day, slight nausea. Fell right asleep at 11.
Day 2: Woke up at 5. Got nap from 9 to 10:30. Felt great all day. Took at bedtime, slight nausea. Fell right asleep at 12.
Day 3: Woke up at 11:30 (over 11 hours of sleep). Felt fine all day. Took  at bedtime, slight nausea, slightly itchy, really restless and struggled to fall asleep.
Day 4: Got very restless sleep from about 2 am to 6 am. Woke up extremely itchy all over.
Day 5: I'm done. I remained itchy all over my whole body all day. The idea of taking something that makes me nauseas, itchy, restless, and sleep deprived does not sound appealing!

Back to Prozac! This time there is no cycle to mess up!