11/6/15

I woke up this morning feeling better then I have felt in 3 weeks! I actually woke up before my alarm, thanks to the kids and day lights savings.

I actually felt like eating before 1 pm! I'm usually so nauseous that I have no desire to eat until I'm starving and force myself to eat something.

I also have felt motivated to get stuff done, which hasn't happened in easily a month! I checked to see if I had any orders I needed to get done, which I don't. This is the first time in 3 1/2 years I haven't had a single order! It's a nice break for once.

When I went to the kitchen to eat I decided to finally sweep the floors. I haven't cleaned any part of the house in probably a month. It's hard enough getting out of bed when the depression is bad. Cleaning the house is nearly impossible. As my food cooked I swept the laundry room, dinning room and kitchen. Just maybe throughout the day I'll clean some more.

The past week has been so bad that I've actually fallen behind on laundry which hasn't happened for 4 months! Goal of today is to now try to catch up!

I'm excited about moving and have finally hit the point that I'm so excited I just want to pack everything up! We still have 3 weeks to go. It's funny but I'm rather excited to have a tiny backyard! Out right now is too big. My kids take stuff out there, I can't see it and it gets left out there for months! We haven't been able to find Em's jacket for a week. We thought maybe she left it at school. Today she walked in hold it all covered in leaves and melted snow!

I can't help but wonder if feeling good today has to do with the fact that I forgot all three doses of Wellbutrin yesterday. This same thing happened 14 months ago with Celexa. I missed it one day and left better. I skipped it again the next day and continued to feel better off it.  I can't remember if it was 2 or 4 days later, but I kept thinking how weird it was that I left better off it then on. Then in a matter of minutes I went from feeling 100% to 0%. So today as I was thinking about this I reminded myself that I needed to stay on Wellbutrin until I switch to something else. I see my doctor in a few days so we will discuss it then. At this point I'm wondering how I'll  do back on Prozac. The only reason I had to go off was because it was messing with my cycles, which is no longer an issue!

So I've been going along all morning thinking, I'm doing so good today... Then I take Em to school and I realize my "I'm doing good" is probably someone else's struggling. Halfway to the school I realize Em didn't do her homework last night! Then as she was walking into her classroom Brax tells me, "Em's wearing pajama pants! ha ha ha." Me, "No she is n... oh my gosh she is!" At least they do not look like pajamas!

I got another good laugh after I picked Em up from school. We were on our way home and Em asked what was in a mug. It was one I put hot chocolate in last week when we went up the mountain. I told her, "Really old, nasty, moldy, hot chocolate." She didn't believe me, so I told her to try it. Em then says, "Here Brax you try!" and he did! Yeah I was right, there was old hot chocolate in it. I was laughing so hard! I'm surprised he didn't throw up, I was dry heaving just cleaning out the cup!