10/2/2003

I decided to go see Sister Parker today. I love her so much. I don’t know what I would do without her. We talked about what I was going to do about moving out. I’ve decided to figure it out, find a place and then tell my parents. The past few weeks I have really wanted to talk to someone about the cutting. I was going to a week ago with Joy, but I didn’t. Then Sunday with Bishop W, again I didn’t. Luckily this week I haven’t been tempted to, but still wanted to talk to someone. When Sister Parker  out of nowhere, ask me, “What is your greatest challenge right now?” At first I said, “I don’t know.” She told me that wasn’t an answer. She can always tell when something is bothering me. So I told her how in the past few weeks it had been so hard for me not to cut. We talked about it, why it had been so tempting. She told me about how addictive it is. I only did it once and it is all I can think about at times. One night I could not sleep because that is all I wanted to do. I feel like I am going nuts at times. By the look in her eyes I could tell she really, truly loves me and cares about me. I know that she was prompted or inspired to ask me that questions. I’m glad I talked to her about it.