Saturday, December 19, 2009

12/19/09

Today with James ... um, I'm not sure. I feel emotionally drained. We talked about options and directions to take with my life. First, there is college. I have never had a huge desire to have a college degree, it just doesn't appeal to me personally. I mean, sure I have thought about it. Next, kids... that's when the waterworks started. That is the only thing I have ever really wanted to do with my life and it isn't happening! It can be a touchy subject for me. At times my infertility struggle seems just as painful as the abuse. Certain people in my life have made it harder, I'll just leave it at that.... sigh, I don't get why people act the way they do, why have say rude things, why they are unsupportive and judgmental!

Unfortunately there isn't a whole lot I can control about having kids. We are trying to adopt, we are doing foster and still no luck. Oddly working on our adoption is one thing that I actually work on and actively pursue. James asked if we have looked into everything, all options and such. I've done a lot of research and there is one program that appealed to me that I had no "signed up" for yet. So, I decided to do it! It's free and increases our chances of finding a baby! Well, I'd love to blog more, but I'm off to work on getting all of our "Project Cuddle" stuff ready and be sent by Christmas! Yay! Wish us luck!

Oh and one goal I have had and I do have control over...
Goal #1- Graduate from Institute!
Goal #2- still not sure yet....

No comments:

Post a Comment