9/14/2003

(e-mail to Hayley) How mad do you think Bishop would be if I cut again? I don't know why I even want to. I just feel empty inside. All I can think right now is about cutting and how badly I want to go get the paper cutter blades and run it across my arm. Why do I feel like this? I tried praying. It has worked in the past, but it didn't. Right now I'm not even trying to. I promised myself I would not do this again. I don't want to hurt myself again, I don't want to. I feel like I am going crazy. I need to sleep, but I can't. All I can think about it cutting. I don't know what to do.