9/16/2003

(e-mail to Hayley) I finally got rid of all my anger, doubt and fears. First- the past few times I have started to Sister Parker, I have no idea why, but things felt different and I wasn't so sure of the way she felt about it. I decided to go talk to and it went so good. I got over all my doubts that she doesn't really care about me. I know she really does. She also helped me realize that I need to move out. I need to be in a place where I can actually feel the spirit and so on. Then- I talked to Bishop W. After I talked to Sister Parker I kept thinking, I don't need to talk to him anymore. But one thing I didn't talk to her about was the cutting. I knew if I was going to bring it up with Bishop W I would have to explain a lot & normally it takes me a while to warm up to people and tell them stuff. I went into his office and he offered the prayer in it he asked for him to have understanding of me and my needs. I barely even hesitated, just started telling him about my whole living condition and about my dad, the drinking, the abuse, the possible move and then about the cutting. I have never done that before, no even with Joy. He went along the same lines as Sister Parker, but I told him a little more (cutting and such). He agreed that I should move. I need to be in a good environment and away from the abuse, then I won't be tempted to cut.... Joy doesn't even know about the cutting. She did kind of bring it up at the end of our first session, but I basically denied it. Thanks for always being there for me, I don't think i say it enough.