10/15/2003

Last night I had a total emotional breakdown. I felt so overwhelmed about everything. I need to change certain things in my life & I felt like I couldn’t do it. I at my computer & cried. I started thinking the only way and easiest way to fix everything is to end everything. I really, really wanted to but I started pleading with Heavenly Father to help me, help me. I laid on my floor and bawled and pleaded for help. I heard the sweetest whispering (almost as if someone said it out loud) “Oh, my daughter. I love you.” I continued to ask for help and heard it two more times. I got up and all the pain I had been feeling was gone. I didn’t feel overwhelmed & for once in days I was thinking clearly. I decided I was not going to go to sleep until I figured things out. I have felt better today, better than I have in a week. I still need to change my attitude and soften my heart towards my parents. I can do this, I know I can. It’s going to be hard. I still need to finish writing that letter to Joy. Tell her how I really feel & what is going on. Maybe she can help me?