Sunday, July 6, 2003

7/6/2003

Today I once again feel like I'm in total despair. I'm at church, but I don't want to be here. I don't want to be at home either. I don't know where I want to be.

Everyone in this ward things that my dad is so great and wonderful, if they only knew how he really is. Everyone thinks that my mom is like all sick and dying, yeah right. She is just crazy and depressed.

My sister actually forgot I was sitting next to her in sacrament meeting. I'm becoming bitter, something I shouldn't do, but I really am.

I have no one to talk to. My parents are the problem, my sister is too busy, I don't have any friends (other then Hayley) and no one in my ward would understand.

I finally have an appointment with Bishop M for Wednesday at 7. I don't know what I'm going to tell him. I just need to talk to someone, anyone who might care.

-Messages between me and Hayley
Me: Do you think I will scare Bishop when I show him my cuts?
Hayley: No, he's weird like that. When something like that happens he tends to love you more.

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