7/3/14

I'm sitting here in the church parking lot typing this from my phone... The same church I met my husband at, the one I spent all those times talking to Bishop W, and the one where I had seminary with Sister Parker.

I rarely visit my grandparent's alone. For some odd reason me being without Brad is an open invitation for crazy! The last time I came alone was 2 years ago for my cousins funeral. It was rough enough as it was. I was close with my cousin and his wife. His wife was the only family member that knew I was in counseling and she told me about SOLE long before Joy did, telling me if I got the chance to go, do it. I spent a lot of time with their family. To make the rough trip even worse, my grandma turned everything around, making it my fault. My 2 1/2 year old Em's misbehavior was my fault and so on...

I wasn't sure what to expect this trip. Would it be the same as last time or normal? I gave my grandma a hard time about something. Oddly enough, I heard words I never thought I would hear. My mom asked me to cut up a bell pepper, I told her I didn't know how because my mom never taught me, I was only allowed to cook pancakes and grilled cheese. She told me, "I should have been a better mother." Um, wow!

Then... I needed to go to the store and get floaties for my kids so we can swim tomorrow. My kids, you see, I'm a mom... As I was leaving my grandma asked, "What store are you going to?" Me, "oh, Target or Walmart. Do you need me to get you something?" Mom, "No. But you know they are both just right there on Main Street, so you do not need to go any further then that!" I looked at her like, are you freakin kidding me? 29, I'm 29 YEARS OLD! I called Brad, he got a good laugh.

Now I'm avoiding that house like the plague, much like when I was a teenager! I took my sweet time at both stores, went and got me a soda and now I'm blogging from my phone!

The only reason I came home when I did was I didn't feel like driving around all night, plus I put TV shows to watch on my laptop!

Well, things just took a better turn! So way back before Easter I got an extra manual/ study guide to my depression support group. I brought it with me to my grandparents house in case the subject came up and my grandma was open to it, which it didn't. I knew that might happen. Grandma is hit and miss with being up to talk about things. Something she wants to and other times she ignores the topic. I felt a little disappointed at Easter that it didn't happen, but I knew eventually it would!

As luck would have it, I was in the guest room drinking my soda, watching According to Jim and browsing on Pinterest. The second I finished my soda I realize, dang I forgot to take my pill! So I went into the kitchen to get a drink. I told grandma that I forgot to take my pill and it open up the conversation. I worked up to, "I go to a depression support group. I have an extra manual if you want one." She said yes! She flipped through it and I explained the different sections and questions to answer and articles to read, she said it looked really interesting! Yay! :)