It was about 20 minutes before the “big announcement” and I overheard what it was. It was one of the things we predicted.... Grandpa is getting baptized.
When he announced it, I expected excitement, cheering, crying, everyone overwhelmingly excited. What happened? It was actually really pretty quiet in the room. No one clapped or cheered. It was nice.
About 20 minutes after the announcement I went into the room where we were sleeping to talk to Brad and the tears just started flowing. I kept telling him, “I don’t know why I’m even crying! I’m not happy, or sad, or mad, or angry. I’m just crying.” I told Brad how Grandma has come so far and has apologized for all these little things from over the years, like not having been there for me. I just wish, but never actually expect to happen, him to acknowledge and apologize for the abuse. Never going to happen, but it would be nice. It was weird, standing in that room, looking at the exact spot where I started cutting because of the hurt I was feeling while talking to my husband about my crazy mixed emotions about Grandpa getting baptized.
I wouldn’t say I was shocked. In fact when Grandma asked me if I was surprised I told her, “No! He does this every few years!” She claimed he has never once said he would get baptized... A few years ago she called me and told me he was going to be baptized for their anniversary.
The time before that I was probably 14-ish. He announced that he was all set to get baptized, but the missionary he liked was transferred out of our ward, so he backed out! I've also heard that before I was born he once went as far as the baptismal interview before he backed out.
To be honest, do I think it is going to happen? I don’t know. The #1 problem I have (or more like, he has) is that he is STILL drinking! In fact, an hour after he announced it was he was drinking a beer! Nice!
We were able to have a little fun, we as a family dumped out all his alcohol, except for his wine! A bunch of different family members each grabbed a bottle and poured if down the drain. I excitedly asked for one to dump out, but there was none left. A few minutes later they found another, I quickly called dibs and dumped it down the drain! Man, that felt good! There was a summer when he was out of town that my sister and I wanted to get rid of all his alcohol, but we knew he would just replace it when he got home and it wouldn’t accomplish anything.
I do not think he is fully prepared to be baptized. I kept telling Brad, How is that he has been getting the missionary discussions for 60 years and he is THIS naive about everything! Brad’s response, “Because he hasn’t been preparing for baptism for 60 years, he has been fighting against it for 60 years!”
After the big announcement and all the family left we were able to have a deep conversation about everything between Grandpa, Grandma, uncle and I. Grandpa flat out asked us (HUGE hint he is not ready for this) “Why do I even need to get baptized? Can’t I just keep doing what I’m doing? I go to church every Sunday!” Uncle explained it was growing closer to Heavenly Father and partaking of the sacrament and I chimed in “And being worthy of it, like not drinking!” He doesn’t want to get the Priesthood, he doesn’t want to get endowed or sealed, he doesn’t want to go to more than Sacrament meeting. Really, he doesn’t want anything to change! He is a Catholic and has that mindset of, once I get baptized I am saved and it is the end and I don’t have to do anything else. Uncle kept reminding him, baptism is the First step, not the last! At one point he asked some obnoxious questions, uncle flat out told him, “You’re just being an A**!” Yep, pretty much!
Oh yeah, he already has a date set, 6 weeks from now! Will he stop drinking? Will he be ready? We will see!
No comments:
Post a Comment