2/6/08

A letter to a friend from SOLE. 2/6/2008 I was just thinking about you the other day & then again today! Last Thursday I was talking to my counselor, James, and I just wanted to tell you about something that happened. Over the past few weeks I have been having a hard time with what my parents have done and said to me. I can't imagine doing any of those things to my child. It was too painful for me to actually tell James what they did, so I wrote it down before I went and gave it to him to read. As we were talking about the things I wrote, I could feel mom there with me. I kept looking at the chair next to me because I kept expecting her to be there. I could hear her say how proud of me she was for telling James all those things and dealing with them. It was a neat experience and interesting because we were just talking about experiences like that a few weeks ago. Group has been great! The first two weeks we were just warming up and this week we started talking about our experiences and the different things we still feel. Even during the first week I talked like I never did during SOLE. It still seems weird sometimes when I talk and don't hold everything back. Then at the same time I finally feel like I am being the real me! For the past two weeks,the person who is over the group, has really put me on the spot and I actually freely, willingly talk to him. I actually volunteered to share my abuse story next week. It is so crazy, because this was not me at all 4 years ago, you remember how I was! My life at times still seems like an up hill battle. Every time I start to adjust and deal with all my trials something else comes along. My life seems so overwhelming right now, all I can do is just keep going.