So I was trying the essential oils that Hayley recommended. I realized something after I had forgotten to do them for 2 days... My body is super sensitive to any type of medication or natural supplement! Even if it doesn't seem to be doing anything, or I've only been trying it a few days, stopping it throws my body in a crazy downward spiral! Let's just say after climbing back up from rock bottom I'm in no hurry to do anything medically or naturally about the depression any time soon!
Today was rough. Today I sat at my desk, crying, wondering WHY. Sometimes Why can't things just go right for once? It all started when I got Em from pre-school. I got my hair cut while she was in school, so naturally she spent the next 3 hours upset, throwing a fit off and on, that 1) I wouldn't take her to a "store" to get her hair styled and 2) Her hair isn't as curly as mine.
I needed to shower after my haircut, but also had a rush order that needed to be done today. I got the order cutting while I got in the shower. Usually jobs are cutting on the plotter for a few seconds to a few minutes. Well, I had time to shower, dry my hair and style it and the cutter was STILL going. So, a little background on this order. It was for the Young Woman's President in my ward and I decided to give her a 50% discount. Not only that, but I thought to make the projects more cute I would add some graphics for free. (for anyone else, it would have been $45 for the lettering and the graphics and I was charging her $15) The job finally finished, I sat down to work on it and decided since it was going to take a while I would turn on a TV show on my laptop to watch while I worked. Of course our internet was down, again! Third time this week. I decided to start working without the show on, only to discover that the letters were so tiny it wasn't going to work and I needed to change the font and re-cut it. At this point I decide I've had it with our internet provider and I'm calling them. I google search them from my phone since I couldn't find a bill from them with their # on it. Should I mention, I also run my business mostly online, so not having internet is a huge problem!
First time I called, the lady tried to set me up with new service! No matter how many times I told her, "I'm an existing customer. My internet is down AGAIN. I need help fixing it." She just kept going on setting up my new service. Finally I hung up on her! I called a second time- Their automated message options were press 1 for new residential service, 2 for commercial service, if you are an existing customer call your provider. I might had yelled at the phone, "YOU ARE MY PROVIDER!!!". The third time, they had no record of us as a customer, thus they couldn't help me...
While on the phone the second time I was hit with a very painful ovarian cyst. I have one that like to cause me pain every once in a while.
I feel like there was 1 more thing that went wrong, but I can't remember what it was...
Meanwhile, Brax is angry and throwing a fit because I won't let him play on the Wii. He is 3 and doesn't get how to play all the games, so he comes to me ever 30 seconds wanting me fix it. So I just told him no, he can't play.
At this point I sat at my desk crying, asking Heavenly Father, WHY can't anything just got right? I mean, come on, I'm trying to do nice things for people and nothing but bad things happen to me!
Finally, around the time my husband got home from work, things calmed down. I got my rushed order done, along with 2 other orders, Em got over her hair not being curly, Brax forgot about the Wii and our internet magically turned itself back on.
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Thursday, April 9, 2015
4/9/15
Since closing our store it my main focus and energy goes into fighting the depression. The store forced me to be up and moving by a certain time, now I don't have that. Having my alarm clock across the room really helps. It forces me to get up to snooze it. I am actually getting up earlier then I did when we had the store. Before I rolled out of bed with just enough time to get dressed and make sure the kids were ready, so around 9:30, having to be at work at 10. I now get up between 8 and 9. The second I get up, I get to work. I can't sit around or I might fall back asleep!
My weight has been an issue lately too. I've head having PCOS you are more likely to be overweight and it's harder to loss weight. In fact, the day I was diagnosed we went into an office to talk to them about health insurance, when I told the lady I was just diagnosed with PCOS she said, "You're too skinny to have PCOS!" Ha ha ha. I wouldn't say I've ever been "skinny", mainly average.
Last year when I first started seeing Dr. P and he recommended 60 minutes of exercise a day, I did great! I lost about 10 to 15 pounds the first 3 months! After the PCOS started acting crazy thanks to the Prozac I didn't have the energy to exercise and never got back into it. At first I did fine maintaining my weight. Then the holidays came and I didn't really care about my weight. After all, I've maintained the same weight, give or take 10 pounds, since I graduated high school (which was 12 years ago). I guess turning 30 my metabolism has finally slowed down, because since January I've gained 12 pounds and it shows! Yikes!
The past few weeks we have made some major changes.
#1) We have not only cut back on soda, but has replaced it with water. I have found in the past when I cut back on soda, I do NOT replace it with anything, thus I just go thirsty! I have been doing great! My husband and I both get 1 can of soda a day and the rest is bottles of water. I average 2 to 4 bottles of water a day. The best part, I'm not totally sick of it! We got flavor mixes, plus if I add ice I don't mine plain water. Which I used to hate!
#2) I'm trying to get more active again. I realized that when we had the store I got up and moved around a lot during the day. Now I sit at one desk all day long. My kids LOVE playing Wii Fit and it's the only way to get me to exercise. In fact, they are playing it right now. I found that I need something to be fun and engaging to keep me at it. I can't watch a workout video and actually stick with it. It's fin on Wii Fit U, I try to break my old "records", my "trainer" will tell me "Your legs are a little shaky" and I can see results. I don't own an actual scale, never have, I just use my Wii Fit one.
I am currently off any medication. I've been off and on Prozac for a year. I is hard to explain to my husband why I don't just take it. I know, I will go on and it will work... then eventually it will interact with my PCOS and I will have to go off of it. Coming off of it is hard. Normal for me is 50%, so going from 50% to rock bottom isn't that big of a drop. But on Prozac I'm 100% and going 100% to rock bottom is devastating!
About 1 1/2 years ago my sister-in-law had me try a 10 day sample of Xyngular. I can't remember that exact one she gave me, but she said it would help. It did not. In fact, I went from 50% to 0% while on it. I felt so much worse! Now that I know that even Prozac interferes with my PCOS I'm wondering if that was the case with Xyng.
I am now trying something new.... Anyone out there use DoTerra? Well, over Easter weekend Hayley gave me some to use for the depression. I suck when it comes to doing natural supplements or oils regularly. Why is that?!? I have NO idea. When it comes to actually medication, I never miss a dose. So weird. It's only been a few days and like I said, I suck at remembering, but I am still trying.
My weight has been an issue lately too. I've head having PCOS you are more likely to be overweight and it's harder to loss weight. In fact, the day I was diagnosed we went into an office to talk to them about health insurance, when I told the lady I was just diagnosed with PCOS she said, "You're too skinny to have PCOS!" Ha ha ha. I wouldn't say I've ever been "skinny", mainly average.
Last year when I first started seeing Dr. P and he recommended 60 minutes of exercise a day, I did great! I lost about 10 to 15 pounds the first 3 months! After the PCOS started acting crazy thanks to the Prozac I didn't have the energy to exercise and never got back into it. At first I did fine maintaining my weight. Then the holidays came and I didn't really care about my weight. After all, I've maintained the same weight, give or take 10 pounds, since I graduated high school (which was 12 years ago). I guess turning 30 my metabolism has finally slowed down, because since January I've gained 12 pounds and it shows! Yikes!
The past few weeks we have made some major changes.
#1) We have not only cut back on soda, but has replaced it with water. I have found in the past when I cut back on soda, I do NOT replace it with anything, thus I just go thirsty! I have been doing great! My husband and I both get 1 can of soda a day and the rest is bottles of water. I average 2 to 4 bottles of water a day. The best part, I'm not totally sick of it! We got flavor mixes, plus if I add ice I don't mine plain water. Which I used to hate!
#2) I'm trying to get more active again. I realized that when we had the store I got up and moved around a lot during the day. Now I sit at one desk all day long. My kids LOVE playing Wii Fit and it's the only way to get me to exercise. In fact, they are playing it right now. I found that I need something to be fun and engaging to keep me at it. I can't watch a workout video and actually stick with it. It's fin on Wii Fit U, I try to break my old "records", my "trainer" will tell me "Your legs are a little shaky" and I can see results. I don't own an actual scale, never have, I just use my Wii Fit one.
I am currently off any medication. I've been off and on Prozac for a year. I is hard to explain to my husband why I don't just take it. I know, I will go on and it will work... then eventually it will interact with my PCOS and I will have to go off of it. Coming off of it is hard. Normal for me is 50%, so going from 50% to rock bottom isn't that big of a drop. But on Prozac I'm 100% and going 100% to rock bottom is devastating!
About 1 1/2 years ago my sister-in-law had me try a 10 day sample of Xyngular. I can't remember that exact one she gave me, but she said it would help. It did not. In fact, I went from 50% to 0% while on it. I felt so much worse! Now that I know that even Prozac interferes with my PCOS I'm wondering if that was the case with Xyng.
I am now trying something new.... Anyone out there use DoTerra? Well, over Easter weekend Hayley gave me some to use for the depression. I suck when it comes to doing natural supplements or oils regularly. Why is that?!? I have NO idea. When it comes to actually medication, I never miss a dose. So weird. It's only been a few days and like I said, I suck at remembering, but I am still trying.
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