Be kind...

3/16/2016

Even though we've been in our new ward over 4 months, I went to enrichment for the first time tonight. I was excited, as I am loving our new ward. As I walked in I was hoping to see someone I knew to sit with. I noticed a sister that I know, I'll call her Andrea, and went and sat at the table she was at. Several other sisters I know joined us too. By the time we started there were 2 sisters at the table (including Andrea) who are pregnant.

As we were eating the conversation turned to babies, gender revels, births and such. I felt a little awkward, but I'm pretty used to it at this point. Before I had kids conversations like these were incredibly painful. Now that I have kids it's just a little awkward, but not painful. Anyways, I just sat there and listened to everyone's stories. I didn't think much of it.

Our enrichment ended and I went to leave. I turned and said bye to Andrea and she told me she wanted to tell me something. I went over to her, thinking it was probably business related, as that is always what people want to talk to me about. She then told me, "I wanted to tell you I am so sorry!". I was baffled, what do you mean? She added, "Aren't your kids adopted? I'm sorry about that conversation. I was trying to think of ways to include you!" She mentioned how rough it must have been for me.

After 12 years of struggling with infertility this was a first for me! Andrea not only realized that I was being excluded from the conversation/ experiences, but wanted to try to include me. She felt bad about that. Not only that, but actually voiced these things to me.

I told Andrea that I was fine and it was no big deal. I gave her a hug and told her thank you for thinking about me!

The world needs more people that that. People who not only care, but actually do something about it!

When one thoughts leads to another...

I was looking on Pinterest and a post titled, "Therapeutic Toy List". I read through that post and found it interesting. I started thinking about how interesting it would be to be a therapist to younger children.

It is such a different approach then traditional talk therapy. With younger children you use play therapy and they express and shows their thoughts and feelings playing, toys, dogs, drawings and such.

Somehow thinking about that lead me to finally acknowledge something... I think i realized it just recently, but I'm admitting it for the first time here. Here's the story: I started babysitting Jack when I was 12. Around that same time I started babysitting 2 of my cousins, I'll call them Jess and Nick. I'm not going to even try to ballpark how old they were.

Anyways, I had both babysitting situations overlapping at the same time frame. When I was 14 I remember I started telling my friends these stories about stuff Nick would do, except in real life Jack was doing them. My favorite story to tell was about things Nick would do with his neighbor friend that was a girl. At the time I knew I was lying and making up these stories, but I didn't know why. I remember telling myself that I needed to stop telling them and lying. I eventually stopped telling the stories, but never told anyone they were lies.

Now here I am almost 20 years later and I can see WHY I was saying those things. I was trying to tell my story, these things were really happening, happening to me. Yet, I couldn't admit Jack was doing them or doing them to me. So to tell my secrets in a safe way I portrayed Jack as Nick and me as a neighbor girl. That way, it was safe, but I could still get my secrets out! It is so interesting how the human mind works. How, at 14, I could take what was happening to me and twist it around in a way to make it safe to share without even realizing it. Want to hear something else ironic? Once Jack's mom gave me a ride to Jess and Nick's house. Probably doesn't sound as ironic as it is, but oh well.

My favorite way to spend the day is…

Journal Entry #1

My favorite way to spend the day is…
Depends on my mood! Majority of the time it would be chilling on the couch watching tv! I also get stir crazy easily! I like being out, even if I'm not doing anything!

When I worked full time my favorite "day off" thing to do was go shopping! I love shopping or even just window shopping, walking around stores.
OR get some good food (not fast food, usually a sandwich from Great Harvest or something like that), sit on the couch which a Coke of course, and watch TV!
I've also been know to spend a day off doing nothing but crafting!