9/12/12

I was at my best friend’s wedding (Hayley) and I noticed someone walk in I was not expecting. I guess it could have been worse. You know those people that think that your abuser is like Superman?!? Yep, one of those people, who I didn’t even imagine in a million years would be at my friend’s wedding! I will refer to her as Lady. I quickly turned to Brad, “See that lady wearing the yellow skirt, sitting over there? Avoid her like the plague! If she comes up and talked to me, I will LIE and say I’m someone else! If she asks how my parents are, I am going to tell her, ‘Same ol’ thing, Dad’s still an abusive drunk!’” Brad was laughing so hard at the last part. Right on queue Brad shifted his eyes back and forth from where she was to me, signaling me she was coming! GREAT.

I stayed fixed looking the other direction. She come up and made it a point to get my attention and talk to me. Grrrrr. She asked my name, I just told her Dawn, instead of Dawn-Marie, which is what she knew my by. She asked my maiden name. My mind raced, do I lie, what name do I use, I could always use Ted's last name or just tell her my married name...she’s knows it me anyways. I gritted my teeth and mustered out my maiden name. She told me her name, I acted like I didn’t remember her (mean I know!). She explained who she was and asked how my Grandma was doing. I have no issues there so I told her she was great. Then she brought up Superman, oh wait the abusive alcoholic… Lady, “Oh I hear he is doing this or helping build something.” I sat there, gritted teeth and just looked at her. Lady comments, “Did they not tell you about that?” her wondering WHY I’m not saying anything. Me, “He’s always involved with something.” was all I could manage to get out. After she left I told Brad, I couldn’t do it, but I swore if she came up to me again and brought them up I would say it! LOL. She didn't and we didn’t get to see if I really would or not. Kind of bummed actually. I have never blown up and saying anything like that to someone who didn’t know who my grandpa really is. At times I wish I could or would. It would kinda be awesome!

This week I have learned that I can open up about my Grandpa being abusive and (without much hesitation) admit to cutting while talking to someone I hardly know. It was the right situation and the right timing and I was proud of myself for being willing to open up to this person.

To top it off. At the reception Hayley's dad asked me, "So, when are we going to get your Grandpa baptized?" My response (yes, I actually said this to him!!! Yay me!) "Well, he has to stop drinking first!"

A few months later he brought up my Grandpa again and I mentioned the drinking. He asked me, "When was the last time you actually saw him drink?" Me, "Um, like 5 minutes ago! When is he NOT drinking?" It can be so hard when everyone turns a blind eye to his drinking.

4/8/12

We're at my parents for Easter. The whole family comes over every year for dinner and a Easter egg hunt.

Grandma is having surgery on her shoulder in 2 days and is in so much pain she can hardly use it. Brad and I are helping her get ready as much as we can.

Usually big family events are huge triggers from Grandpa to get upset over nothing! Sometimes it is Grandma isn't helping enough, or helping too much. There is never a  happy median.

First, he was trying to figure out how long to cook the ham. It was for 108 minutes, but how many hours. I, off the top of my head, told him 1 hour 48 minutes. He wouldn't listen to me, he pulled out his calculator and had to figure it out himself. Whatever....

Then, we made him so mad he left! Brad and I did all the cooking, I washed all the dishes and took out the trash, but still we pissed him off! After he left Grandma told me, he left because we had stuff in the way and he couldn't put the paper cups out... 3 1/2 HOURS before the party!!!

It reminds me of when I was a teenager. He constantly told me I made him mad and uncomfortable in his own home so he had to leave!

Ha ha ha, sometimes his ridiculous tantrum just make me laugh!